Have the Confidence of a Pimp

I remember having a strong disdain for Magic Don Juan when I was in high school. As an adult I’ve realized I could learn something from this clown:

Recently I  found myself watching a video where Magic Don Juan eloquently explains that he began smoking weed through his nose after making a vow to God in the 1980’s to never smoke through his mouth . He proceeded to claim that smoking through his nose is better as it gives the smoke a direct passage to your brain; this was the moment I knew that Don Juan specifically skipped anatomy class during his developmental years. First, I started to imagine about the amount of C’s he had on his report card, but I soon took a moment to really consider the intricacies of his profession.

The profession of a pimp exists solely due to the confidence that certain men have in attracting and coercing females to fall in love with them. Yes, it’s also because of the insecurities that certain women harbor in themselves too. It takes a lot of confidence to go out there and persuade women to have sex with other men; then to only come back and give you the money because they’ve been told that they’ll be taken care of by their ‘Big Daddy’. Some of these girls actually believe that their pimps love and protect them. What about pimps makes them so successful with certain women? They’re flamboyant–they talk a lot, dress very loud, and have the nice cars. I don’t know exactly how they do their taxes but they sure are living luxuriously without having to take regretful things down their esophagus.

Pimping is just one example where having extreme confidence is beneficial.

To a lot of men pimps look extremely stupid, if not way too feminine. You won’t catch me wearing high heels and pink fur coats–it’s just not my style. What you will catch me doing is telling the waiter that I didn’t order hash browns in my chicken, egg, and cheese wrap. I wanted it on the side so I can drown them in ketchup. I wanted my order done right, so I asked for it and I received it. An ancient version of myself would’ve just eaten the plate that was served just to keep the peace and not hurt the waiter’s feelings because I feared the extra attention. Would I come off an an asshole? Will they spit in my food? Those questions are for the birds.

It’s time to embrace the attention that confidence brings.

One thing to understand is that women, and people in general, like confidence. For instance, I was walking to class with my head in the clouds when this unattractive girl abruptly approached me and asked me for my number. She did it without hesitation or stutter. My quick reaction to say no was flooded by my shock at her confidence. The girl that I initially thought was beneath my standards got my number that day. A woman might find an awkward guy cute and funny but she’s going to be attracted and respect the guy who is unrepentant in being himself. The girl didn’t care about my opinion; she wanted my phone number. She never called. Try and tell me she isn’t a boss. I wonder if she got someone better looking than me…

Obviously, don’t choose to be a pimp. Don’t be an asshole, either. Stop being awkward and waiting for life to hand you the things that you want. Instead, start thinking with the mindset of a pimp and set yourself apart from the soft-spoken, complacent man.

Writer’s note: Refrain from saying things like big pimpin or I’m pimpin. You’re going to look like an idiot. 


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